Saturday, May 5, 2012

Less of a book sale and more of an empty parking lot

St. George's Episcopal Church was supposed to be having a charity book sale this year to finance their mission trip to North Carolina.  Aren't there churches in North Carolina that could be doing missionary work without raising money for travel?  I mean, I want to buy your books for cheap, but my skeptical mind can't help but question the logistics.

Anyway, their idea of a book sale was suspiciously similar to an empty parking lot in front of a church where a book sale was not being held.  In fact, it was identical.  There went two hours of travel time.

To be fair, Quaint and I had already hit quite a few yard sales and come away with a box of old children's mystery/adventure novels, a poker table and a deviled egg plate.  Quaint loves her deviled eggs.  If she was a chicken, she would lay deviled eggs.  If she was a devil, she would get egged on Halloween.

"Now what?" I said, sweating in the car, missing air conditioning.

"There's a thrift store nearby.  It burned down and it's just now reopening.  Burning down means getting lots of donations when you open again!"

"Your logic is impeccable," the GPS said as it calculated a route to the new location of The Thrift Barn.

After sifting through an absolutely gigantic box of unsorted books Quaint had filled two boxes while I went to evaluate the Playstation games that had been mixed in with the audio CDs.

Our total was $12 for two large boxes of books and two PS1 games.  I think we can make a profit off that.  One of the games is worth well over $50.  I'm often glad that people running thrift stores don't know what video games are.  Finally, my extensive knowledge of obscure video games from 1989 through present day is paying off!

As I paid the proprietor said, "Would you like some lettuce?!" He hoisted a large bag of lettuce from a box on the counter.  It was sealed, so it probably isn't poisoned.  "The expiration date isn't until the 7th!!"

Quaint and I looked at each other, looked at the lettuce and, after a moment of risk analysis Quaint said, "Sure, we'd love some lettuce."

"Here," said the proprietor, "have TWO bags of lettuce!"

"Sure, we'd love two bags of lettuce," Quaint said.

Now my only thought is, "What am I going to do with all this lettuce??"

Wait!  I just remembered that my faithful Siberian Husky loves lettuce.  Now to research the health risks of switching a dog to an all lettuce diet.  I won't have to buy him more food this month!**


**Just kidding, I don't want to kill him.  I'll give him a piece or two, just to make sure it isn't poisoned.  We can play his favorite doggy game, Royal Taster.

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